Tuesday, January 7, 2014

New Year's Resolutions

I have found the perfect way to not break a New Year's Resolution.

I don't make any.

It's not because I am already perfect- depending on who you ask either I am durn near or far from the ideal- but because I have realized nobody keeps the Resolution they have created.

Sometimes the change they are making is not well thought out. Sometimes the liquor induced resolve of New Years Eve evaporates in the light of New Years Day. Sometimes events conspire against the Resolution, like when your resolve to lose weight runs up against a buy one get one free sale on Big Macs.

I have usually failed to keep a Resolution because the goal I set one day seems irrelevant the next. Yes, losing weight is a great goal. But compared with working toward World Peace? Can't hold a candle.

Really; think about it. Could you sacrifice losing 10 pounds in order to work toward World Peace? Isn't the goal of World Peace worth almost any cost?

Besides, working toward World Peace will help you meet Miss America, or Miss USA, or Miss World. Aren't all of those young women working toward World Peace? Think about it; when they are asked what they hope to accomplish in their year as Miss Whatever, have you ever seen ONE of them declare that they hope to lose 10 pounds?

Nope; they're all working toward World Peace. Or ending hunger. Ending hunger is easy; see the aforementioned BOGO Big Mac Sale.

Yes, I am kidding.

Another reason Resolutions aren't kept; they are too esoteric. You have all met the individual who has decided to "become a better person".


Based on what standard?

Right now I am a better person than at least half the world ; especially if the half I am compared to involves anyone in Washington DC.

And then we need to look at what makes me better. After all; there are some changes that in one group's eyes would improve me, and in another group's eyes would devalue me. Going on the Atkins diet would be a great move in some circles.

But not if that circle is full of vegans.

Everything is relative; even losing weight. Ever seen a Ruben's painting? If any of those girls would have dropped 10 pounds they would have been out of a job. Sumo wrestler? 10 pounds is the difference between winning and getting thrown out of the ring.

All in all though improving yourself is a worthy goal. My criticizing the goals folks have set for themselves is probably overly judgmental.

I could resolve to be less judgmental, but I'll bet if I did this is the year I would be called for jury duty.

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