Sunday, June 27, 2010

Another Letter From The Holler

Dear Cousin Red,

There ain’t nuthin’ as expensive as somethin’ free.

If’n that doesn't make sense to y’all, then you are a lucky soul.

And I got proof I’m right; just read on, Cuz.

On Father's Day The Wife took The Young'Un to see my Father-in-Law. He's a good old boy, and I ain't got nuthin' agin 'im.


The Young’Un has wanted a pool fer ferever, and I ain’t ever wanted one. They say a boat is a hole in the water y’all throw money inta, but a pool is a hole full a’ water y’all constantly throw money inta.

So The Wife brings home a pool that her Dad gave The Young’Un. It’s one of those 10 foot round by 3 foot deep pools in box. All you need to add is water.

And Money. Money fer the test kit, money fer the chemicals, money fer the toys. Yeah toys. Can’t have a pool- even one that only holds 900 gallons a‘ water- without a floaty ring, a beach ball and a noodle. A freakin’ beach ball. The nearest dang beach is ‘bout an hour away, and ain’t even a real beach, fer cryin’ out loud!

And after a week of swimmin’ the water is shot. The filter is the kind that takes a paper filter cartridge, an’ maybe would keep a 10 gallon fish tank clean. If’n y’all didn’t keep fish in it.

So right now I’m dumping 900 gallons a’ water over the hill so we can clean the pool and refill it. And buy some new filter cartridges.

At three bucks a piece.

This ‘Free’ pool has so far cost me about $60 and a coupla afternoons. And the only time it got me wet was when The Young’un splashed me while I was tryin’ to fix the filter. AGAIN.
And it ain’t done yet. I’ve either gotta replace the water once a week- Ka’ching!- or buy a new filter that will actually work- Ka’ching! Ka’ching!- or make The Young’Un unhappy ‘cause she LOVES the pool.

I don’t guess I need ta tell y’all where that leaves me?

That sound you hear is me openin’ my wallet to keep the pool open. Everything is cheap if it keeps The Young’Un happy.

And nuthin’ is more expensive than a free pool.

Best wishes from all of us in the Holler,

Throckmorton Q. Sheisseschnitter

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