Tuesday, June 30, 2009

How Many Senators Can You Fit in a Prius?

Well apparently the Dems have a real clown in the Senate now. Not that Franken was ever funny, but at least he can list being a clown on his resume.

Just in time too, to make sure the Senate can pass the Crap and Tax bill and double the cost of energy while tripling the cost of everything else. Pretty soon everything will be so expensive people will be sipping tap water like it means something.

I am about to just flat give up. Pretty soon it won’t matter what you make, it’ll matter what the government lets you bring home, after calculating how much you will need to support your family in a style they deem appropriate.

Family of four allowable expenses means you get to take home $400 this week. You made $1000? No problem; President Obama will be able to handle the rest. Don’t worry about a 401k; you’ll have Social Security when you retire. At 78.

I said at the start of Obama’s term that as long as they don’t outlaw bourbon I’ll survive. Now I’m beginning to think it won’t matter if they outlaw bourbon; I won’t be able to afford it anyway.

Or maybe the government will start rationing booze. Looks like I’ll need to stock up on tea-totaler friends. Maybe I‘d better make a list… But, I digress.

I was talking about the latest clown on the Senate. 8 months to decide an election, and yet another one the Dems stole with the old ‘found ballot box’ trick. I had a discussion with a coworker today about this issue, and his first response was ‘well, the republicans do it too’. Maybe. But when was the last time they got caught?

What exactly are Franken’s qualifications for the Senate? I mean other than the fact that he was on SNL, after it stopped being funny. I tried to find his CV online, but apparently he doesn’t even think enough of it to post it himself.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again (probably a lot in the next 3 and a half years) we’re doomed.

And I need some bourbon.

Oh, I almost forgot to answer my question. The answer is: It depends. How many reporters are there to photograph it?

Monday, June 29, 2009

Ah! The Good Old Days!

A friend of mine sent me an email a few days ago and suggested it would make a good blog post. I think she’s right, but maybe a little differently than she expected.

The email (and we’ve all seen it, or something similar) talked about ‘remember when’ things. Some of them I am nostalgic for and some of them, not so much.

Is it really the individual things we are nostalgic for? Or is it the era? Or maybe it’s the age we are nostalgic for; and age when we had freedom to do what we wanted, within parental limits, and seldom thought about doing things outside them?

Seriously; is anybody nostalgic for a 19 inch black and white TV with 3 channels? Okay, maybe ABC, NBC and CBS are. But I doubt their nostalgia includes black and white.) Maybe I am nostalgic for the shows; Gilligan’s Island is funnier in a single show than Family Guy is in a season.

Is anybody really nostalgic for when the majority of cars didn’t have air conditioning? I mean hellfire; I love old cars, but I ain’t gonna spend 2 hours stuck in a traffic jam in a ’57 Chevy without air! But if I’m on the open road, give an old Chevy Bel-Air over a new Malibu any day.

How about the medical care we had 40 years ago? Sure the doctor made house calls- because everything useful in his office he could carry in a small black bag. Your average doctor’s office is better equipped (diagnostically) today than a major hospital was 40 years ago. I don’t even miss the house calls. I usually got a shot, even if I wasn’t the patient!

What am I nostalgic for?

Summer nights, when I could hear a thunderstorm in the distance at 2 am, and not worry about whether or not I put down the patio umbrella or wound up the car windows.

Summer days, when I could play army in the woods, camp out in the tree house and ride my bike anywhere I wanted to go, as long as I didn’t cross the street. Instead of spending the summer days I have free from paid work doing unpaid work; mowing grass, trimming bushes, weeding flowers and maintaining the homestead.

Winter days, when 6 inches of snow didn’t mean a long commute, but no commute-SNOW DAY! When I could sled ride on the hill behind the house, build a snowman and have a good snowball fight or two, instead of fighting the snow the #%@^ county didn’t plow, shoveling my drive and walk, because SOMEBODY has too, and hoping I didn’t slide down the hill behind the house… without the sled.

I miss the fall days too, when the air just started to turn crisp and lose the humid heat that made August unbearable. When a sweatshirt felt good while I was rolling in the leaves somebody had raked and put out at the curb (and would rake again when I was done -and not yell at me- Thanks Dad!). I miss the early first frost that always made me think of Christmas, and how close its getting, now that fall was almost here.

Now… now I am the one raking leaves, and the chill reminds me that soon I will be paying a heating bill. The early frost is just a delay in the morning when I didn’t plan on scraping my windshield. And a reminder than Christmas is coming. A holiday I don’t enjoy as much as I used to 40 years ago.

What really worries me is that today- with all of the problems we have- will one day be ‘The Good Old Days’ to somebody. Eh; maybe. But I doubt I’ll ever meet anybody nostalgic for a Prius.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

What I Did on My Weekend

Ya know, I get asked all the time about exactly what it is a Redneck does on the weekend. Well, to be frank, it is usually my wife asking, and usually on Sunday evening, and usually while perusing my undone task list, and usually its more like “Exactly WHAT did you do this weekend?”

Well, this weekend I fixed my brother’s dryer, fixed my small lawnmower because my youngest broke it, mowed the yard (with a pushmower mind you; no rider for me), weeded a couple of flower beds, staked up the wife’s tomato plants and posted 3 entries on the blog.

I also watched one of my new favorite shows. Its on the TRU channel, and its called ‘Man versus Cartoon’. Basically, a team of engineers works on replicating some of Wile E. Coyote’s greatest gags. Basically it is an excuse to play with physics and blow stuff up. Kinda like ‘Mythbusters’, but with a narrower focus.

I also fixed an electrical short in the wife’s car and got her radio working. Which led to a little sore spot for me. There is a parts house nearby that I have been using for 35 years. They used to have EVERYTHING in stock, or could get it to you next day. Hell, I walked in there one day and asked for a rebuild kit for a ’46 International KB-7 engine. They had it on the shelf. Now these young punks probably don’t even know what an International is.

The last few times I have been in there for simple stuff they haven’t had it. Fender washers- Nope; don’t stock ‘em. Nuts and bolts- Nope; don’t stock ‘em. Yesterday it was fuses for the wife’s car. Nope; don’t stock ‘em anymore. I had to go across the street to one of the el cheapo national chains (where I HATE spending money) to get a couple of 69 cent fuses.

What the hell is going on in this world when an auto parts house doesn’t stock fuses for your CAR?!?!?

I’ll tell you what it’s coming to; Hell in a hand basket. No fuses one day, no parts the next, until everybody is putt-putting around in Volts and Priuses and throwing them away after 4 years like you do with every other modern piece of (expletive deleted). I miss the days when you could fix something instead of throwing it away. There is an argument I could agree with the wacko environmentalists on. Let’s make it a law that anything sold in this country needs to be repairable, so we can keep some crap out of the landfills.

Or what about returnable bottles? Is it just me, or did we start having all the brouhaha about ‘filling up the landfills’ about the time we stopped having returnable beer, soda and milk bottles? Lets stop being a throw away society, and become a reusable, repairable one!

That really didn’t come out quite right, but you know what I mean.

Oh- and start stocking car fuses in the flippin’ auto parts store!

Another Missive From My Cousin

Dear Cousin Red,

I had ta go up to Big City t’other day to get me a checkin’ account. Since I got that computer I found out there is all kinds of things y’all can buy out there in the world and ain’t none of them places take cash. I sure don’t run through the dollar bills like I usta.

So anyways, I had to go up to Big City ta open a checkin’ account. I didn’t think I was ever gonna get done fillin’ out papers. ‘Bout the only thing they didn’t want to know was how often I visited the backhouse. You’da thunk I was atryin’ to walk off with some of their money, ‘stead ‘a givin’ ‘em mine.

When I finally got done tellin’ them folks everythin’ ‘bout me but my math scores from 3rd grade, the feller asks me if I wanted access to the A-T-M. I ask what a TM was. He told me an ATM was a way of getting’ money with a card. I told him sure, but up home we call getting’ money with cards Poker. Then he told me it was a way to get money with out writin’ a check. I told him I do that now, it’s what my wife’s purse is for. He said he meant I wouldn’t have ta go to the bank when I wanted money. I told him we kept my wife’s purse in the bedroom, not the bank.

He then told me that an ATM is a way of getting’ money outta a machine. I told him I knew all about that. I had two cousins who did time for getting money out of a machine. The Feds called it counterfeitin’. An’ I got to tell ya’ that he must have been the most caring feller in the world, ‘cause when I told him about my cousins, he broke right down an’ cried. He was still cryin’ and moanin’ a little bit like he was in pain over somethin’ when I left.

Well Cousin, I guess that’s about it. I hope to hear back from you as soon as y’all is able.

Best wishes from all of us in the Holler,

Throckmorton Q. Sheisseschnitter

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Did Ya Hear the NEWS?!?!?!

Yesterday the House passed the Cap and Trade legislation, by a very narrow margin. You know -the new law that will double energy costs.

What’s that you say? You weren’t aware it was even voted on, much less the effect it will have on the cost of energy?

Well, I’m not surprised. What with the other important news the networks needed to cover, like the massacre in Iran.

Sorry, what’s that? You haven’t heard about the massacre either?

Well I guess the newscast was just too full of real important stuff, like…

Yeah; that’s it- the death of some pop singer out in LA whose career was over years ago. That guy; Ole-whatsis-name.

Can somebody explain to me why this one death, out of the millions worldwide in that same 24 hour period was so news worthy that it lead each newscast for over 24 hours?

President Bush could have dropped dead and the coverage of his state funeral would have page 3 stuff. Over the fold maybe, but still 3rd page.

This has-been in LA has a heart attack and everything else, news wise, stops.

Where is the press that is the famed Fourth Branch of government? The watchdog of the people?

I’ll tell you where it is- in the pocket of the Democratic Political Machine. We don’t have a watch dog; we have a lap dog.

I need some bourbon, before Obamacare forces me to have a license to buy some.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

For my Dad. And my Sons

First, let me confess that I have started and rewrote this post several times.

None of those times did it suit me.

Tomorrow…

Tomorrow morning, this version will probably not suit me either.


Today is Father’s Day.

Physically, I lost my Father in 2003. But I still miss him.

My Dad lost his Father in 1972. One day in 1997 my Dad mentioned that on that day his Father would have been 100 years old. That lets me know that twenty-five years later, he still missed Grandpa.

I once heard that no boy ever becomes a man until he has lost his Father.

That is probably true. After dad is gone a boy must not only make his own decisions, but live with them. While Dad is alive he has a backup; a fail-safe – a mentor.

No matter how much they did not get along during those damned teen years.

Afterward, he has his own to feet to stand on, and his own to hands to bail him out; his own experience as a mentor.

During my Dad’s eulogy all of his kids spoke. We talked about what Dad taught us.

One of my brothers said that Dad taught him two things: That the designated hitter rule had made a mockery of baseball, and never beat up on your nephews; one day they will be bigger than you.

The whole church, full of National League fans (and my dad’s nephews) laughed.

And there is much to laugh about.

One of Dad’s stock phrases, when asked if he needed anything was: “bring me back a couple of dancing girls”.

For his 65th birthday, we got him a dancing girl; a belly dancer, who filled the living room with her discarded veils.

He never asked for something like that again. I don’t know if it was because we had fulfilled his wildest fantasy, or it was because he was afraid we would bring him whatever he asked for. Which we would have.

One of the problems with age (and I’m not yet 50) is that you gain perspective. I have yet to meet anybody in their 20’s on Ancestry.com. You need to be able to see the past and the future in order to WANT to see the past, and the future.

I knew my Grandpa, who knew his Dad (however briefly; Great-Granddad died when Grandpa was about 10). I also know my granddaughter; who will (God willing) be herself a Grandma in about 2050; the same year my Great-Granddad would have turned 200 years old.

That gives you perspective. I can (kinda) see 150 years into the past, and 50 years into the future. A chain of my Great-Great- Grandfather, Nickolas; his son Heinrich; his son Harry; his son Harry; me; my son Lee, and (to date); his daughter Brianna, and her progeny.

Would Nickolas have imagined his Great-Great- Grandson even knowing his name? Probably not; he was a carpenter/furniture maker in Germany 150 years ago. Hell, he probably never had a clue that Father’s Day was ever going to exist.

But tomorrow I am going to put flowers on his son’s grave; and his grandson’s; and his great-grandson’s, and, hopefully, his great-great-great-grandsons will do something to honor me.

After all; it’s Father’s Day.

To those of you are Fathers or grandfathers; my best wishes for a memorable day.

To those who are children, remember your Fathers; for all their faults, they did the best they could.

Let's Dump Billions Down a Rathole

Light rail. What a buzz word. It says everything, and nothing. Just what is “light rail”?

Cincinnati, like every other city of any size had a street car system, which was dismantled in favor of motorized buses in the middle of the last century. When some one says light rail, think glorified street car. Why do we now want to resurrect something we abandoned 60 years ago? Why did we, and almost every other city in the country, trade our fondly remembered street cars for noisy, smelly buses?

Quite simply, flexibility. When a population base moves from one area to another, how hard is it to re-route buses, and change the number of times a bus will pass a certain location? How hard is it to re-route a street car? Besides laying new rails, widening a street to accept a new lane dedicated to these rails, and the politics of abandoning the old rails, it’s not that difficult. Now you know why we retired the street car.

Why is mass transit popular and feasible in places like Boston, Washington and New York? In a nut shell, population density and central destinations. There are enough people in one place, who wish to go to another place, and riding a subway is economically feasible, and convenient. Trains run often enough and the system is designed around getting folks from point A to point B almost around the clock.

Compare that with Cincinnati. Not only are our population centers scattered widely, so are our destinations. Less than 15% of the total area work force has downtown as a destination. Springdale, Florence, Eastgate, Blue Ash and half a dozen other places have as many, or maybe more, commuters on a daily basis.

There is also a certain mindset that uses public transportation. In most of the cities where public transportation is widely used, it was in place before the automobile became common. Why was Cincinnati’s subway system left unfinished in 1922? The Model T Ford had reduced the people’s reliance on public transportation.

Once the masses were free to come and go where they pleased, when the pleased, and as they pleased, regimented travel no longer held any attraction. Don’t take my word for it; ask any kid who has a license and a car to get back on a school bus. If you’ve ever tried it then you know getting our city back on public transport will be a task of Herculean proportions.

A quick look at the 5 largest cities in the U.S., and their public transportation statistics, shows a correlation between age of the city and rider ship. The more densely populated a city was in 1900, the more likely it is to have a viable public system. New York had a population of almost 3.5 million in 1900, Los Angeles, barely over 102,000.

They are now the two largest cities in the country. According to the website Geography World, (http://www.demographia.com/db-uscity98.htm) New York City has a population of a little over 8 million, with a density of over 26,000 per square mile. According to the Urban Transport Factbook website, at http://www.publicpurpose.com/ut-ride2000all.htm, New York had a per capita public transport use of 880 passenger miles in 2000. In other words, every citizen of the Big Apple rode 880 miles on a public conveyance.

Compared to LA, from the same sources, with a population of almost 3.7 million, and a density of about 7800. Their public rider ship? In 2000, only 159 passenger miles per capita. We can assume one of two things from these statistic: either the denizens of La-La land don’t go anywhere, or they primarily use their own automobile.

What about Cincinnati? Statistics for the city only show a density of 4200 people per square mile, and only 91 passenger miles per capita on public transportation. At this rate Porkopolis doesn’t need public buses; we need to put each Metro driver on a bicycle built for two.

Public transport works in New York for the same reasons it doesn’t work in other places: parking, room to expand roadways, car culture, and convenience. Light rail will fail here for the same reasons.

As long as we have safe, affordable parking, lack of complete gridlock, and the ability to walk to our car and drive home before the next bus comes along, we won’t punish ourselves with a public conveyance.

If I can leave my place of employment, walk a quarter of a mile or less to my car, and drive home, all in 30 minutes, or wait 10 minutes for a 45 minute bus ride, why take the bus? Factoring in the relatively low cost of parking, and the value of my time, the bus seems even less attractive.

Would a new light rail system be any better? Sure; after the 120 years of construction and trillions of dollars for infrastructure that cities like New York, Boston and Chicago have spent.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’ll be standing on a street corner that long.

And yes, if we want a viable public system we need to start somewhere, But from Findlay Market to Great American Ballpark. Are they SERIOUS!?!?!
And what about all of these folks who are proponents of the streetcar, and claim they will ride them when they are finished? Why aren’t they riding the bus NOW?

Let's Talk About Blogging

One of the blogs I follow on a regular basis is ‘Trooper York’. Yesterday he did an All Custer Day, with some pretty good posts. Here is the first one:
http://trooperyork.blogspot.com/2009/06/he-died-with-his-boots-on.html

Troop seemed a little despondent that there were so few comments on the wealth of Custer material, but ya know, Custer hasn’t really been controversial in well over 130 years.

Not that it is pure controversy that drives comments, but having something to argue about sure does.

Good writing is not a comment driver either, again with Trooper York as our example, as he does several satirical series that are incredibly well written and LOL funny, but rarely draw comments.

Another supremely well written blog I follow, is Sippican Cottage: http://sippicancottage.blogspot.com/ Again, most of his posts draw very few comments. How can you make some toss-off remark after one of his pieces?

I don’t usually do my best writing in comments because of time constraints. After all, great things aren’t written, their re-written. Or in my case, re-re-re-re-re-written. I envy people who can toss off a 5 or 6 paragraph essay on something in a couple of minutes and have it look and sound professional.

Me? It takes me 20 minutes to type that much, and then I go back over every word, making sure the meaning is exactly what I want, that the tone of the whole sentence is what I want it to be, that the paragraph says what I want it to say.

But that’s why I blog. The only way to get better at anything is practice. Skill and experience aren’t granted because you want them; they are gained by hard work.

In this case I have the easy job.

The hard job is done by the folks who have to read this drivel.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Which Came First, the Car or the Road?

Again, Althouse had an interesting post this morning: “The bicycle, quite literally, paved the road for automobiles." and I left a longish post there and I felt I had to expand a little more on here.

Sorry, but I have to believe its bunk.

Roads were paved in the cities well before 1860, and unpaved in some parts of the countryside well into the 1920's.

It wasn't paved roads that favored the internal combustion engine, it was its practicality.

Have you ever lit a steam boiler? Here is Jay Leno, lighting his 1909 Stanley Steamer.

In the same era with a gas car it was set the spark, twist the crank and head to town. 20 seconds, not 20 minutes. Here is Jay Leno again, cranking his 1913 Mercer .

Electrics were also limited; again, here is Jay with his 1909 Baker Electric.

If you haven’t ever visited Jay Leno’s garage, it is an incredible collection of automotive history. And, unlike a museum, Jay drives his cars, and takes you along in the videos. To me, there is nothing better than hearing the sound of these old beasts. But, I digress.

Again, it wasn't roads that killed the electric car, it was the deficiencies of the electric compared with the gas; the same issues electric cars have 100 years later.

Issues such as battery life, poor range, long recharge times and disposal of dead batteries.

I'll agree that the bicyclist did much to get roads paved in the 1880's and '90's, but that paving had nothing to do with the rise of the gas automobile.

In 1920 there were less than 400,000 miles of paved road in this country. That may sound like a lot, but today we have 5.7 million miles; 14 times as much. In 1930 it was not possible to drive from New York to Los Angeles without leaving the paved road, and that was basically 30 years after the automobile and 50 years after the bike.

I will say this though. bicycling through the countryside did lead to an urge to travel, and the motorcar allowed you to travel farther, use less energy and take along more luggage and more family, so the bicyclist themselves probably had a lot to do with rise of the gas automobile.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Private wealth under attack again

I was perusing my favorite blogs this morning and found an interesting topic over at Althouse: Hey, everybody! Let's raze Detroit, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Memphis. (http://althouse.blogspot. com/2009/06/hey-everybody-lets-raze-detroit.html).

Just how far will this government go to destroy the idea of private wealth?

I have no problem with any individual willingly selling their property to the government for any purpose. It’s the taking of that property that gives me chills.

Its bad enough when private property has to be taken for a public purpose, like a road. Lets face it, it is not feasible to route a road around a specific piece of property, so the idea of eminent domain is not completely crazy.

But for a school? Does a school really need to be in a specific spot? Will a mile or so in any direction really make a difference? I doubt it.

What about a sports stadium? Sure their city owned, but then leased back to a private enterprise (the Packers excepted) and unavailable for most public use, like a city park would be, and the entity they are leased to makes a profit on the space.

What about a shopping mall or a factory? Again, who put the government in charge of what constitutes the best use of a piece of ground? How can they decide that a car plant is a better use of a piece of ground than my farm is, and then take my land against my will to give it to another entity?

It was the urban renewal of the ‘60s that really started all of this crap, and nobody fought it then, as it had a good purpose. We HAD to take these slums away from the owners and let the government make the decisions on how to use the ground.

First they came for the Slumlords
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Slumlord.

Then they came for the Neighborhoods
and I did not speak out
because I was not in those neighborhoods.

Then they came for the farms
and I did not speak out because
I was not a farmer.

Then they came for the businesses
and I did not speak out
because I was not a small businessman.


What if the Feds decide that a family of 6 who lives in the ghetto in two rooms is actually entitled to your 4 bedroom home, because it’s just you and the spouse?

Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.



Kelo may have been a start, but we have a long way to go. The fight needs to start now.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Cousin Throckmorton checks in again

Dear Cousin Red,

Y’all may not believe this (Hell, I barely believe it myself, an’ I’m the one that done done it), but I got me one of them computer things. I got it up at the Wal-Mart and had one of the youn’uns hook it up.

Have y’all got one them things?

Hellfire I ain’t never seen the like. I did a search on a thing they call GOOGLE for Wal-mart, and the first thing I find is an article from some magazine called Forbes. I misread it the first time an’ thought it said Fords an’ I thunk that if Ford is a goin’ to sell cars through Wal-mart, them other two that the government owns ain’t gonna have a chance.

But I was wrong. This Forbes magazine (http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2009/0608/024-opinions-retail-health-on-my-mind.html) said Wal-mart a-comin’ to town meant folks would get thinner, because Wal-Mart makes salad cheaper than potato chips. That maybe, but try grabbin’ a handful of salad while y’all is drinking beer and watchin’ NASCAR. It just ain’t right I tell; it just ain’t right.

All I got to say is this guy ain’t as smart as he thinks he is. If’n he thinks it’s the cheap salad that is makin’ folks at Walmart thinner, he ain’t never spent a Saturday lookin’ through a Super Walmart, trying to find an Alan Jackson CD, a quart of oil for the John Deere, a 6 pack a’ beer and some .30-06 ammo for the deer rifle.

It ain’t cheap salad; it’s the 40 miles a’ walkin’ y’all have to do while your inside!

Well Cousin, I guess that’s about it. I hope to hear back from you as soon as y’all is able.

Best wishes from all of us in the Holler,

Throckmorton Q. Sheisseschnitter

Sunday, June 7, 2009

D-Day; The 6th of June

Yesterday was June 6th; the 65th anniversary of the D-Day landings.


I did what I always do on June 6th. I watched ‘The Longest Day’.


I don’t know if there is a more accurate movie about D-Day (‘Saving Private Ryan’ doesn’t count- D-Day is a part of the movie, not a focus), but then, I haven’t seen them all. I do know you’re not going to find a more entertaining one.


I am a history buff, and one of the problems I have with the way history is taught is the initial focus (like when your in 2nd grade) on Who, What, When, Where. The Joe Friday approach; Just the facts ma’am. And memorize them; you WILL be tested.


And then everybody wonders why by 5th grade the kids hate history.


Not that the facts aren’t important, and some dates SHOULD be carved into your memory (July 4th, 1776; April 8th, 1865; December 7th, 1941; June 6th, 1944 and September 11th, 2001 for examples), but it is the bare rote style that kills an interest in history just when a lifelong interest could be nurtured.


Which is why every year I watch ‘The Longest Day’, and when they were younger, encouraged my kids to watch it with me. Some years they did, some years they didn’t.


And sometimes I catch them watching it without me.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The mail has brought another letter from my Cousin

Dear Cousin Red,

I was up in the big city t’other day and saw some of the funniest ads on the TV in the bar… I mean place I was in. As usu’l I am a bit cornfused and reckon you can straighten me out.

I kept seein’ ads for all kinds of things to save work around the house. Which ain’t bad. I’m all for workin’ only as hard as I need ta.

But why do the same folks who spend 5 grand on a machine to cut grass that they can ride, so they don’t have to walk though the yard, then go and spend another thousand dollars on a machine they can walk on in their livin’ room?

I ain’t figured that out yet Cousin.

If’n these folks would start chasin’ that lawnmower ‘round the yard twice a week, they could quit paying money to work up a sweat.

That’s another thin’ I just can’t get my head ‘round. Why does a feller pay somebody so hey can work up a sweat?

I’m here to tell ya; if I’m sweatin’, and money is changin’ hands, I sure as there’s foam on beer ain’t gonna be a’spendin’ it. I’m gonna be earnin’ it.

Well Cousin, I guess that’s about it. I hope to hear back from you as soon as y’all is able.

Best wishes from all of us in the Holler,

Throckmorton Q. Sheisseschnitter