Cousin Throckmorton checks in again

Dear Cousin Red,

Y’all may not believe this (Hell, I barely believe it myself, an’ I’m the one that done done it), but I got me one of them computer things. I got it up at the Wal-Mart and had one of the youn’uns hook it up.

Have y’all got one them things?

Hellfire I ain’t never seen the like. I did a search on a thing they call GOOGLE for Wal-mart, and the first thing I find is an article from some magazine called Forbes. I misread it the first time an’ thought it said Fords an’ I thunk that if Ford is a goin’ to sell cars through Wal-mart, them other two that the government owns ain’t gonna have a chance.

But I was wrong. This Forbes magazine (http://www.forbes.com/forbes/2009/0608/024-opinions-retail-health-on-my-mind.html) said Wal-mart a-comin’ to town meant folks would get thinner, because Wal-Mart makes salad cheaper than potato chips. That maybe, but try grabbin’ a handful of salad while y’all is drinking beer and watchin’ NASCAR. It just ain’t right I tell; it just ain’t right.

All I got to say is this guy ain’t as smart as he thinks he is. If’n he thinks it’s the cheap salad that is makin’ folks at Walmart thinner, he ain’t never spent a Saturday lookin’ through a Super Walmart, trying to find an Alan Jackson CD, a quart of oil for the John Deere, a 6 pack a’ beer and some .30-06 ammo for the deer rifle.

It ain’t cheap salad; it’s the 40 miles a’ walkin’ y’all have to do while your inside!

Well Cousin, I guess that’s about it. I hope to hear back from you as soon as y’all is able.

Best wishes from all of us in the Holler,

Throckmorton Q. Sheisseschnitter