Monday, October 11, 2010

TV Sucks

I have spent the last week on bed rest for the most part, lying flat on my back to try and stop my nose from bleeding me dry.

So I have been forced to watch ALOT of TV. Basic Cable. Not quite as bad as straight over-the-air, but almost. I have discovered one thing that I am certain of; we need a Truth in Naming Law.

I have about 60 channels on the cable mini box I have on my bedroom TV, and I'll bet I have only about 30 different stations, and only about 10 of those are nominally watchable.

Remember A&E? Arts and Entertainment? Mostly crime reality. Nothing arty or even remotely entertaining.

Bravo? Remember when it was ballet and live plays? Mostly reality crime drama. I think; I never really spent more than 5 seconds there, but it looked an awful lot like A&E.

History Channel? Explain to me why a dog cheap reality series like Swamp People or Ice Road Truckers is on the History Channel? Pawn Stars I don't really mind; they do tend to cover some facet of history, but I would still rather have a 10 part Civil War documentary than Pawn Stars or American Pickers, especially when I have 7 uninterrupted days of lying flat on my back.

I think I counter 14 separate sports channels, including one dedicated completely to Golf. GOLF? A sport so flippin' boring you can fall asleep PLAYING it has its own flippin' CHANNEL!?!?!?!

The Learning Channel used to be decent too. Now apparently all people want to learn about is prisons, clutter and I swear this last week I saw the same woman give birth about 14 times.

You know what my standard was for not switching off of a channel while I was surfing? If I saw the GEICO guy. Not the gecko, the Guy. "Can GEICO really save you 15% on car insurance? Is a Bird in the Hand worth Two in the Bush?"

Now that right there is what I call ENTERTAINMENT!

Thank God I had my DVD collection.

Especially my 42 John Wayne movies.

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