Have I ever mentioned my Cousin?

I may not have mentioned my cousin Throckmorton; he isn’t really somebody you can bring up in most conversations.

He is actually a second cousin, once removed. I always thought once removed meant you were of the same age, but didn’t share a grandparent. According to Throckmorton, once removed means somebody who has been kicked out of the family reunion, and then let back in. He may not be correct, but Throckmorton does have his moments.

He lives down south, in a little town called Gunkel Holler. I asked him one time exactly what a holler was. According to Cousin Throckmorton, a holler is the spot between two hills, where the tops are close enough together to holler across. Again, I don’t think he’s right, but he does have his moments.

Occasionally I’ll get a letter from Cousin T, as I call him for short- he hates that by the way. “Throckmorton is my name” he’ll say “go ahead and use it”. One conversation we had went something like this:

“Hey Cousin ‘T’!
“Throckmorton is my name, go ahead and use it”.
“Well, Throckmorton is a mouthful. What do your friends call ya?”
“Throckmorton.”
“Oh. The other kin?”
“Throckmorton.”
“Oh. How ‘bout you’re wife?”
“Depends. How mad at me is she?”

I let that one go. There are some things I’m not brave enough to ask.

“Oh. How ‘bout your Mama?”
“Mama calls me Rocky.”
“That’ll work for me. Can I call you Rocky?”
“Yep. As soon as you’re my Mama.”

Anyway, Throckmorton will occasionally send me a letter. I may pass them along; you just never know what he has on his mind.