Cousin Throckmorton Checks In Again

Dear Cousin Red,

I woke up this mornin’ to the news that they gave this here Obama feller what’s gone and got himself elected President somehow the Nobel Peace Prize. (Myself I got no idea how he was elected. I here some folks say it was a’cause a’ Acorns. I can’t say myself if’n it was just the acorns that got him elected. I tend to believe it was a whole bunch a’ nuts. But I’m getting’ a little off’n my subject).

Turns out this is the third time an American President has won the award while in office. The first was ol’ Teddy Roosevelt. They gave him the prize ‘cause he stopped the Russians and the Japanese from shootin’ at each other. Then they gave it to Woody Wilson, back when he invented the League of Nations, to try an’ keep the whole world from shootin’ at each other, after that great big war they had over in Europe that we had to send some boys over to put an end to.

Now they gone and gave this here award to Obama for…. Just what did they give him this thing for anyway? Do you know Cuz? Did he stop a war someplace that nobody told me about? As fer as I know they’re still killin’ each other- and us- all over that Middle East place. And Africa too. All over that whole continent folks is killin’ each other, even though we elected Obama, nuthin’ has changed.

Hell, he ain’t even ended the wars he’s the boss over. We’re still shootin’ it out in Iraq and Afghanistan. I tell y’all maybe I gotta get out’n the Holler once in a while. Maybe I won’t miss so much news.

The wife has just tol’ me that they quit allowing folks to be nominated for this here Peace Prize back in February. Now don’t that beat all. What ever it was he did to earn this thing he did in the last two weeks a’ January. I know I’m startin’ to suffer from The Old Timer's disease, but still y’all would think I would remember the earth shatterin’ event that happened to convince these folks to fork over a medal and almost a million and a half bucks to this Obama feller. But I just can’t.

Maybe they’re givin’ him this award for what he’s plannin’ to do, instead a’ what he’s done. If’n that’s the case, maybe I could win this Peace Prize too. I’m plannin’ on keepin’ peace in the Holler this weekend. My wife’s Momma is comin’ to spend a few days, and to keep the peace I’m goin’ fishin'.

Y’all there with the Nobel Prize committee, just send the check to the Holler, my brother the mailman will know where to find me.

Best wishes from all of us in the Holler,

Throckmorton Q. Sheisseschnitter