Okay, today I am cheesed off

Why am I upset? Last night I heard something that reminded me how bad off we are.

I usually listen to Mark Levin while drifting off at night. He usually has quite a bit to say that I find useful.

Last night he was replaying a speech of Ronald Reagan’s from around 1964. (http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/ronaldreaganatimeforchoosing.htm)

My God, where are the orators today? First the subject of the speech was spot on, both in 1964 and in 2009, second his delivery was absolutely mesmerizing.

Obama a speech maker? Obama couldn’t have spoke in the same room for a year after Reagan was done. I can’t think of a current Republican who could have had the same effect, even with the same speech.

Gov. Palin may have come close, but Reagan’s speech was tempered with the experience and fire of conversion, much like St. Paul’s, that a life long practitioner can’t match.

Much like the Israelites, who needed a Moses to guide them out of the wilderness, we Conservatives need our own Moses.

It ain’t McCain. It ain’t McConnell (that pork barrel traitor). Who do we have on the national stage that can light the small government fire in the belly of the electorate the way Reagan did 30 years ago?

Man I wish I knew. I might even send them money.

A letter from my Cousin

Dear Cousin Red,

I just thought I’d drop a line to let y’all know how things are here in Gunkel Holler. Y’all probably remember that the Holler is a small place. Well, okay, it’s a really small place. But just ‘cause we have our “You are now entering”, and the “You are now leaving” signs one above the other on the same pole doesn’t mean there ain’t smaller places.

And we have our excitement; just last year we had a small circus come through. Well, all it really was was two fellers and an albino goat, but they called it a circus. And three years ago we repainted the barbershop, and got to watch haircuts and paint dry for the same quarter! It seemed like a big deal at the time, but lookin’ back it may have just been the fumes.

We do our level best to stay up with the times. The town council bought a traffic light ‘bout 2 years ago, but we canceled the order when our entire police force pointed out that we didn’t have any cross streets. You probably remember that our entire police force holds their meetings in the front seat of the patrol car. Well, actually it’s not a car as such, but an old three-speed bike with a siren on the front, but we call it a patrol car. We are plannin’ on getting’ a patrol car any time now, just as soon as the chief gets his driver’s license back. (He swears he didn’t know that them parking tickets from the Big City were bad news, he thought they gave him permission to park, you know, like a ticket to a ball game.)

Y’all probably remember that we have our own school system, including a high school. My eldest boy is proudly the class of 2008; not a member of the class, but the whole thing. Since he graduated as class dictator (or somethin’ like that) he had offers from places like Harvard and Yale. He took the job in Harvard. The guy at Yale wouldn’t let him drive the tractor.

Anyway, the reason I took pen in hand is ‘cause I got a new job. I’m now officially the Gunkel Holler Water Commissioner. It’s not much of a job, but it’s the only one my uncle, the Mayor, had left. He made my brother the dogcatcher. He always did like my brother best.

Best wishes from all of us in the Holler,

Throckmorton Q. Sheisseschnitter

Everyday I find it easier to get by without "News"

I am an edjamakated redneck, not a high tech one; I usually have trouble getting hypelinks to work; but I'll try agian:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jt3az5VG6IknYbPlaelNSr-SJblgD96M31OG0

This article (which I found via blake's blog, The Bit Maelstrom {http://bitmaelstrom.blogspot.com/}) is a hachet job if I've ever seen one. But the most egregious comment is from Richard Hesse, professor emeritus of constitutional law at the Franklin Pierce Law Center in Concord (New Hampshire):

“When you think about this claim that if a state believes a federal law is unconstitutional it can just ignore it, then I presume if a county believed a state law was unconstitutional it could just ignore it," Hesse said. "Really what's implicit in this is an unwillingness to recognize a lawful authority."

This guy TAUGHT ConLaw?!?!?!?

I admittedly am no Conlaw expert, but if the 10th Amendment limits the power of the federal government to its enumerated powers, and the states are seeking to exercise their rights under the 10th Amendment;

FIRST: how can Hesse state that they states are ignoring what they consider to be unconstitutional? They aren’t ignoring anything- yet. The states are putting the federal government on notice that they seeking to enforce their 10th Amendment rights.

SECOND: the county/state comparison doesn’t fly, unless a state constitution has a similar clause, limiting the power of the state to its enumerated powers and reserving all others to the county.

No state I am aware of has such a clause; in fact, don’t most state constitutions start by claiming sovereignty?

THIRD: this is not an unwillingness to recognize lawful authority; it is a return of the lawful authority to the states and removing it from the federal government.

The whole article as a hack job, and the author probably had to search long and hard to find a senile old professor who would give him the quote he wanted.

And they wondered why nobody buys a newspaper anymore.

Have I ever mentioned my Cousin?

I may not have mentioned my cousin Throckmorton; he isn’t really somebody you can bring up in most conversations.

He is actually a second cousin, once removed. I always thought once removed meant you were of the same age, but didn’t share a grandparent. According to Throckmorton, once removed means somebody who has been kicked out of the family reunion, and then let back in. He may not be correct, but Throckmorton does have his moments.

He lives down south, in a little town called Gunkel Holler. I asked him one time exactly what a holler was. According to Cousin Throckmorton, a holler is the spot between two hills, where the tops are close enough together to holler across. Again, I don’t think he’s right, but he does have his moments.

Occasionally I’ll get a letter from Cousin T, as I call him for short- he hates that by the way. “Throckmorton is my name” he’ll say “go ahead and use it”. One conversation we had went something like this:

“Hey Cousin ‘T’!
“Throckmorton is my name, go ahead and use it”.
“Well, Throckmorton is a mouthful. What do your friends call ya?”
“Throckmorton.”
“Oh. The other kin?”
“Throckmorton.”
“Oh. How ‘bout you’re wife?”
“Depends. How mad at me is she?”

I let that one go. There are some things I’m not brave enough to ask.

“Oh. How ‘bout your Mama?”
“Mama calls me Rocky.”
“That’ll work for me. Can I call you Rocky?”
“Yep. As soon as you’re my Mama.”

Anyway, Throckmorton will occasionally send me a letter. I may pass them along; you just never know what he has on his mind.

The Althouse Cincinnati Meet up

Yes, I was there, and apparently my choice off the menu has not met with unanimous approval.

Even my old buddy and fellow duke fanatic has been giving me grief about it.

So I posted this on his blog, and thought; what the Hell; I’ll post it here too!

Now dag nab it Trooper; I ate the Hot Brown (which was actually more like a Hot White- being chicken & all and not the original Roast Beef- but the chicken is healthier, not that I'm worried about my health, but... Where was I? Oh, yeah).

Any way, it was not a crap sandwich as you have portrayed (yeah it did look pretty wild when it came out of the kitchen with a knife stuck in it- and this was a classy place; well classier anyway- I mean it is usually the dives where something comes out of the kitchen with a knife in it- and its usually the cook... Where was I? Oh, yeah).

It was a pretty good sandwich (I mean the comments over at Althouse; Heart attack on a bun! It was CHICKEN for cryin' out loud! It’s the original white meat! Not like it was pork or something… Where was I? Oh, yeah).

And I was with some classy folks (not that I would meet and tell you understand, but you know Althouse was there; how much classier can you get? And the place actually served long neck PBRs! Do you expect a place like that to serve a crap sandwich? I mean hell, it’s not the Congressional Dining Room for Pete’s sake! I mean there they KNOW a crap sandwich when they serve one… Where was I? Oh, yeah).

So, I want y’all to lay off my dinner; it was a great place and a helluva good time (you know the place has been open since 1861? My Great-Granddad ran a hotel on that block in the 1870’s; most likely he probably had at least one beer there himself, back in the day. He was German ya know we seem to have some sort of reputation as beer drinkers… Where was I? Oh, yeah).

Any way Darcy, as much I would like to accommodate you and spill the beans on last night (now there’s a meal that would deserve comments! What if I would have had a plate of beans and rice? Not like a place classy as that, and on the northern side of the river would even serve beans, but… Dag nab it; did it again! Where was I? Oh, yeah).

A gentleman never tells the details. We had a good time, ate a good meal and all parted amicably.

One detail I will spill; Not only did I get to meet Althouse; I also got to meet Silvio.

And he took me at the light. I got to admit THAT was not the highlight of the evening (no redneck, even us edjamikated ones, like to admit that we lost a drag race, but her ‘chauffer’ caught me flat-footed trying to retune the radio when the light changed. First I knew the light was green was when I heard the roar of an Audi’s exhaust… Where was I? Oh, yeah).

The End.

I Wish I Could Blog From My Car.

Everyday on the way home I have a great idea for a post. The whole thing is laid out from title to final, funny line.

And then I get home, eat some dinner, interact with the family for a bit, do some items from the chore list and then sit down at the computer to write a post….

And nothing. What was that Pulitzer Prize (is there a Pulitzer for blogging? Why ain’t there? But, I digress) post that I had so carefully crafted just a few hours ago?

Oh, I remember now! It was about… no, that ain’t it. Was it…? Nope, not that either.

Crappola.

Oh well. Maybe this will work.

Have you ever noticed that when you don’t have time to stop for gas (you know, late for work or some such) every gas station you pass has gas for next to nothing, but on your way home the price has jumped 30 cents?

Yesterday I was on my way to work, running a little late as usual, and the BP had premium for $1.82 a gallon. Sweet! I’ll stop on the way home!

On the way home it was $1.92; this afternoon it was $2.12. What the hell is up with that? Did I miss the refinery blowing up? Or was it Argentina?

I guess that’s life. You get one shot at the big deal; don’t blow it.

What happened to Mitch McConnell?

Okay, here’s the point; will we survive the next 2 years?

My one saving grace was the Republicans in the Senate (well, except for Snow, Specter and the other RINO form Maine), including my own Senator, Mitch McConnell.

Then I hear today that good ole Mitch has 75 million in earmarks in the latest Unstimulus Bill. What am I supposed to think?

Yeah Kentucky might have some short term benefit, but at what cost? Apparently not at the cost of good ole Mitch’s principles. Damn the bad luck.

What have we go to do to get that cesspool on the Potomac under control? We gave the Republicans total control for 6 years, and they screwed us wore than the democrats did, present Congress excepted of course.

Now the Dems are back in the driver’s seat, and out to prove (last 6 years of Repub control not to the contrary) that they are the party of big government and bigger spending.

Why haven’t we heard a word out of the Libertarians? Where in the Hell are they now that we need them?

Aw Hell, I need a beer. Or bourbon. Or both.

Liars and/or Democrats

I had a couple of things I wanted to blog about earlier today, but right now none of them seem important anymore.

Obama’s speech; who cares? No matter what he SAYS, we know the truth, and he ain’t tellin’ it.

I was going to blog about NASA sending up a satellite to monitor global warming (I mean, just what kinda carbon footprint does a rocket launch have anyway?), and the thing failed to separate and landed in the Antarctic Ocean.

Talking about global warming, I saw a big article about all these scientists in Antarctica crying about the lost glaciers, all because the mean temperature went up by 0.3 degrees in the last year. I’m sorry, but my freezer doesn’t defrost until it gets 30-40 degrees warmer. I ain’t sayin’ I know it all, but 0.3 of a degree is the difference between a frozen glacier and a river? Who in the Hell are they tryin’ to kid?

And then the whole deal with Burris and his appointment; another liar; lying (at best) by omission, and at worst by out and out deception. The worst part of that whole deal is now Reid looks like a genius when he was trying to keep the crook out in the first place. There’s a concept for ya: Harry Reid a voice of sanity in the Senate.

I guess that brings us full circle; from one lying Chicago Democrat to another.

Oh Hell, I need a beer.

I was reading about the Oscars this morning (I haven't seen the show in about 15 years at all, and only bits and pieces before that. I quit watching the Oscars when they snubbed Smokey and the Bandit in '79), and apparently I ain't the only one who has decided the idea of an industry awarding itself for its own brilliance is ignorant.

Maybe because they are the ENTERTAINMENT Industry, their show should be, you know, entertaining, to the general populace. And yet it comes off as an overly long bore and preach fest.

Imagine if the Oil Industry did the same thing; with the same glitz and live TV coverage. The outrage from the left would be deafening.

“How dare they spend millions to promote themselves; The cost of her dress would feed a family of 4 for a year; Why can’t they just accept an award, and not stoop to insulting our President Obama…”

You get the picture. Hypocrisy, they name is liberal.

I have always said I can get through anything, as long as I have bourbon

I was actually looking forward to 4 years of the Obama administration. I figured it would give me multiple reasons to seek solace in a bottle of Kentucky's finest.

And I have too. I have spent more on bourbon in the last 4weeks than I did during the first 4 years of the Bush administration. I just hope to hell when Obama gets around to nationalized health care it includes liver transplants.

And you know he will. Nationalize Health Care I mean. Liver transplants for conservatives won't be covered. You only get a new liver if you drank yourself silly on cheap wine and Donkey Kool Aid. But, I digress.

I found out today the fine Commonwealth of Kentucky is talking about raising liquor taxes. I guess they figure that booze is the last thing that gets cuts from a budget when the Democrats are in charge.

So now I’ll need to figure out how to get by without buying bourbon. Time to do a little backyard distilling I guess. Trouble is, good bourbon has to age 4 years, and by then Obama will be gone.

But then again, who really thought he’d get elected the first time?

Let’s see;

Oak barrel; Check.
Corn to ferment: Check.
Copper for the still…

Who the Hell am I?

Just who (or what) is An Edjamikated Redneck?

First you take an ole country boy and let him work with his hands and back for a living for 20 years. Then you take away that living and force him back to school as an adult. Let him spend the next 6 years in various classrooms earning 2-1/2 degrees (I'm still a few credits short of the last one).

Then throw a Socialist in the White House.

Shake well and serve over ice with a premium bourbon.

What you wind up with is somebody who would rather get his hands dirty than keep them clean; somebody who would rather shoot his supper than eat a damn crab and somebody who would rather the government get the Hell outta his way than try to force feed him an approved diet.

And somebody who has to keep his hands clean for clients, eat crab for clients and drop fried foods to maintain a reasonable weight for clients- to earn a living with the education he was forced to get.

Now he needs to fight back, in a way that is socially acceptable. The "IMPEACH OBAMA" sign in the front yard is just to piss off the neighbors. The 4X4 pickup truck is to piss of the liberals and the bacon and eggs is to piss off the wife. She wants me to live forever.

So she isn't stuck with the kids and the mortgage.

Like I'm gonna LET her die first.

You know how it goes

You set out with a great goal.

First, you get busier than you thought you'd be.

And then that emergency comes up.

And then one day runs into the next.

Before you know it, it has been over two years since you've made a blog post.

Damn the bad luck.

But then, I've learned alot about blogging in the last two years. From the best of them; and you know who you are.

My goal, for the next year, is to blog like a Trooper.

But without the cleavage.

And food.

What the Hell is left?