My Father Had an Oldsmobile, and so Did I

I found this article -The Five Best Oldsmobiles to Come off the Line, while I was out surfing the net the other day. Not a bad piece, but, as always, I have some quibbles.

Number 5 car is the 1968 Hurst Olds. Without seeing the other 4 we can let this stand. But it does deserve higher ranking. The Hurst Olds was the hottest car in any showroom. Culminating in the 1970 version, they were a 5 passenger rocket ship. They handled like a late sixties car (meaning it cornered like Jello), but straight line, wow; what a ride.

Number 4 is the Toronado, the first front wheel drive car by an American company since Cord died during the Great Depression. An iconic car, it definitely belongs on the list.

Number 3 is the original Rocket Ship; the 1949 Olds 88. A small car with a big car engine; the same formula Pontiac would revive in 1964 with the GTO. As usual with Pontiac, following Oldsmobile's lead. definitely needs to be on the list.

Number 2 is a station wagon. A WHAT? Yep; a station wagon. available with a 455 cubic inch V-8 and a Hurst 4-speed, not exactly your standard depot hack. But what really set it apart was the raised rear roof and the glass roof over the back seat. we had a 1966 model Vista Cruiser when I was a kid. riding under that roof made you feel special; there wasn't another car on the road with a windshield in the roof. Yes, it deserves to be on the list, but higher than a Hurst Olds? I might have swapped the two, had I been writing up the list.

Number 1 is THE Iconic Oldsmobile; the 1901 Curved Dash Olds. Little more than a carriage with a lawnmower engine attached, this was the car that started it all for Oldsmobile.

And now; some quibbles. Limiting the list to 5 cars really is difficult, and because of those limitations some really special cars have been left off the list. Like the 1939 Oldsmobile; first with an automatic transmission; a design that was so sturdy, it was used in American tanks during WWII.

The 1978 Cutlass is also missing; the first downsized Cutlass, this car was so popular that for years it was the most-stolen car in the country; different years of the body series holding sometimes the top 5 spots. It's popularity was later eclipsed by the Honda Accord on this list, but still this body style Cutlass is a great car.

The article also disses the Alero; I have one and while I do find some issues with it, I do like it. Seats 5 comfortably, has the ability to get out of its own way, gets better than 20 MPG, and is still, at 15 years of age and over 200,000 miles, a good running automobile. And, again for its age, fairly trouble free. 

What are my issues? The doors seem a little tight, and getting in and out is troublesome, for somebody my size. The front cup holder is useless, except for change, and the middle armrest is a little short. The glove compartment is a little small too.

One last thing; it has a four cylinder engine; I wish it had a V-8. But it is a dual  overhead cam, fuel injected 4 cylinder. I would love to have that technology on an old 350 V-8 in a 78 Cutlass; that would be a Rocket.

They're Called Pony Cars for a Reason

A lot will be written about Mustangs in the next few months, during the run-up the 50th anniversary in April, both about the old original 64-1/2 models and the 2014 ones.

But this post, over at The Truth About Cars caught my eye. Can you imagine owning a car for almost 50 years?

More importantly, can you imagine owning one of the most iconic cars in American Automotive history for 50 years?

Today it's hard to imagine the impact the Mustang had. we aren't as car crazy as we once were, and the shear proliferation of makes and models makes the introduction of a new model something only the real car nerds will slobber over.

But in April of 1964 it was a big deal. Ford, GM and Chrysler had the market almost to themselves. American Motors sold a few cars, and Studebaker was still selling a few as well. The European makers were specialty only; Mercedes, BMW Jaguar, Rolls Royce at the high end, and Triumph, MG and Morgan on the sport side. And Volkswagen; making a few inroads but by any means a powerhouse. There were a few Japanese makers starting to show up on the roads on the West Coast, but Chevy sold more cars in 1963 than all imports combined.

But they were starting to make there presence known; the drive for fuel economy had started. Chevy had the Corvair, and Ford the Falcon, but the Falcon lacked sex appeal.

And then Lee Iaccoca showed off the Mustang. Basically a Falcon with a new body shape; it did exactly what Ford wanted it to do; sell over half a million cars a year. Ford hadn't had a sales demon like this since the introduction of the Model A back in 1928; almost 50 years earlier.

And 50 years later those cars are still desirable. I have known 2 of the original '64-1/2 - 66 model Mustangs.

My Uncle had a '66 Fastback 2+2; V-8 powered and that reddish-orange color that looks so good on a Mustang of that vintage; similar to the one above. But his had hubcaps with spinners, not the factory sport wheels. It had a black interior, and he took my cousin and I (both of us his 6 year old nephews) a ride in it one Sunday. I remember taking the ride, and being in the car, but the ride itself is a blur. I don't know if it is a blur because of the speed we were traveling at, or because it was 50 years ago and I was only 6.

But I do remember that car.

Another was a '65 model my Aunt (my Uncle's sister) had for a while. I was 14 or 15 at the time, so it would have been a 10 year old car at the time. And it was not what some would have considered collectable. Unlike the car in the article- with the convertible, V-8 and sport options, my Aunt's car was a 6 cylinder and a three speed column shift with a bench seat. It looked like a Mustang on the outside, but the inside was still straight Falcon. The color didn't help either. Instead of Baby Blue, it was brown, inside and out.

Of course, I would give almost anything to have either one of them today. My Uncle died in '68 and I have no idea what happened to his car. My Aunt's was the same way; it was there for a year or so, but one visit it was gone.

It takes a special person to keep a car for 50 years.

Milestones

Today on the way home from work my car hit 250,000 miles. I tried to get a picture of the odometer, but doing that while driving proved problematic. I couldn't get a clear shot for some reason. Quite a milestone I figure. Of course there are other cars out there with more miles. But for me, this is a record. The car itself is 20 years old, I've had it for 8 years and have put about half of those miles on myself. And I don't have any plans to retire The Bimmer.

She still runs great and doesn't rattle or smoke. There are a few problems, but what do you expect after 20 years and a quarter of a million miles? The drivers window tracks needs a little repair, and a few interior pieces are a little loose. But hey, I can fix those issues, given a weekend and a few bucks.

The Bimmer, which is officially a 1992 BMW 325i, joined the family when my neighbor leaned over the fence one evening and asked if I wanted to buy her car for $1,500. It needed a wheel bearing and a clutch, and she wasn't ready to spend the $2,000 her mechanic wanted for repairs. Parts ran me about $250, and the labor was free. Even after 8 years I still don't have as much actual cash in the car as it would be worth if I sold it. I figure I came out ahead.

This was the second foreign car I ever owned. I had my Jag in England, so it wasn't really foreign, and the Beetle, well Beetles aren't foreign anywhere. The Cortina; now that was foreign. Other wise I was all American, Usually GM, and Oldsmobile whenever I could.

I wasn't sure I would like driving a BMW. The car was actually going to be my eldest son's car. I paid the cash and he was making payments. while he was making payments I drove it all week, and he had the weekends. That way I could keep an eye on my investment, and he would have an incentive to make the payments in a timely manner.Then he ran into financial issues, and I was stuck with it, after a fashion.

My daily driver prior to The Bimmer was a Chevy Caprice Classic Station Wagon. It ran good and got decent gas mileage, for a land yacht. I was working in Downtown Cincinnati at the time, as was used to swinging the land yacht into and out of the small downtown lots. The first day in The Bimmer I was amazed at how small it was comparatively, and yet was large on the inside. The only other small cars I had ever ridden in were Japanese, and I was never comfortable. They seemed narrow and completely lacked legroom for the 6 foot-four inch me.

The Bimmer wasn't like that. With the driver's seat back I have plenty of room. The seat-back is touching the front of the backseat, so rear seat legroom is non-existent, but what do I care? I'm sitting in front.

Anyway, after 8 years and 100,000 miles I'm still happy and comfortable. I'm hoping for at least another 250,000 out of her. By then it might need another clutch.

Oh, and the picture isn't my car. Mine is the same color and style, but lacks the spoiler. I couldn't find a picture of mine that wasn't covered with kids.

Reminds Me of The Good Old Days

I was looking for something to blog about tonight, and was having trouble. So much to talk about, but then, so much of it is horrible. Iran and their nuke program; Israel, as the target of said nuke program; Obama and...., well, Obama and anything he says or does is horrible.

So I went some of my 'Feel Good Sites'; like Sippican Cottage; The Duffel Blog and Sippican's companion site, The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys.

That's where I found this video.

I'll have to admit I have done a few engine changes in my time. I have even done a few swaps, where we took out a V-6 and dropped in a V-8, or pulled a small V-8 and dropped in a honkin' big one. Sorry; went back to my old days there for a minute.

My sister had a VW Bug that required what seemed like constant maintenance. My brother and I had it down to a science. We could drive the bug into the garage and have the motor on the work bench in less than 10 minutes flat. But I have never done an R&R (remove and replace) on an engine in 42 seconds.

Wow. But then, I never did any of my engine swaps with a squad of Royal Marines.

And none of my swaps were on a specially prepared car, like this one. But that being said, this is still an impressive display of team work. And they may be able to drive that car, but they wont drive it far. No Radiator, no coolant, no transmission grease. The 10 meters they drove it is probably the limit of its distance; any more than that and you'll be sweeping up pieces of it.

I am trying to think about what would be my favorite engine swap. I guess it would have to be the one we did on the 1977 Lincoln Town Coupe.

Dad bought the car with a bad motor in it; a 400 big block with a spun main crank bearing. But the car was beautiful. Black, with a black leather interior, and every option Lincoln offered, including the factory CB radio.

We happened to have a 429 laying around from a 1969 T-Bird we bought for parts, so we through a few gaskets on it and dropped it in the Lincoln. This thing went from a 166 horsepower 400 to a 390 horsepower 429. Yeah; we doubled the horsepower. But then, this car weighs about 4200 pounds bone dry and empty. It was a flat dog with the 400. I mean a SERIOUS dog; I got beat off the line one time by a school bus. A FULL school bus. Being driven by a nun. Okay; that last part was a bit of an exageration, but not by much.

I think she was actually a former nun.

But, I digress.

Afterward, we had a sleeper. A sleeper is a car that doesn't look like it is fast, but is wicked fast. Like a 400 horsepower, 4200 pound Lincoln. I wish I had a nickel for every Honda that was expecting a snail, and ran into a jackrabbit at a traffic light.

I miss the good old days, when a weekend a couple of bucks would be all you would need to swap an engine. Now it damn near takes that long to disconnect the damn wires.

Well, maybe not that long, but a damn sight longer than 42 seconds.

Cars I Have Known VII

Here is one of those apparent good deals that requires close study. I know what this guy is talking about, Been there, done that.

Well, still doing that actually. Several years ago a guy offered me a 1988 Mercedes 190e for 300 bucks. I thought it was a steal. It was only after a few repairs that i found out which one of us was the actual thief.

Don't get me wrong; it is a fantastic car. It'll hit 70 in a heartbeat, rides like a cloud and still has some sport manners in the corners. But it has..... ISSUES. Some are because it is 24 years old. Some seem to be designed in.

Like the fuel pump relay. The electric fuel pump will quit randomly, and usually at the most inopportune time. Usually where there is no where to pull over and you have a line of cars behind you. It is a simple fix. Open the hood; pull the cover off of the relay housing; pull the fuel pump relay; jump pins 3 and 8; replace the relay; start the car; replace the relay cover, close the hood. Except sometimes you have to repeat steps 3-6, as the car won't start the first time.

So why not just replace the relay? Because the problem could either be the fuel pump relay or a separate relay that controls voltage to the automobile. each relay is $120, and I have a problem throwing $250 at a $300 car. Luckily I am still finding a few of them in the junkyard. So between finding used parts cheap and doing the work myself I have been able to keep it going.

But I can see where paying somebody to maintain an old MB can bet expensive. Parts are available to repair almost every aspect of the car. But those parts are expensive, and a good MB mechanic is at least $75 an hour. You can count on dropping a grand each and every trip to the shop. If you have that kind of money, paying somebody else to keep your old car on the road may be worth it.

But you can easily see how a car that a few years ago sold for 50k new, is now worth $300; if you can get it.

The picture is not my 190e, but mine is red. And I think it is that red color that has attracted the attention of the local constabulary.

I have been stopped by police exactly 4 times in the last 20 years. All four times I was driving the 190e. all four times I got a ticket for not wearing my seat belt. All four times it was the same cop.

Yep; driving a Red Mercedes can get expensive.

Well, It's Time for a Palette Cleanser

The last two days have been too serious. It's time for a spot of whimsy.

Where better to go for whimsy than Jay Leno?

I have seen pictures of this car before, but did not know all of the details. I can't improve on Jay's video; take 5 minutes and have your day made.

To say this car is over the top in weird would still be an understatement.

But there are several features I like. I'll let you guess which ones.

But I will tell you this. Old Plymouth Dusters had a rubber bellows on the floor board that was used to pump washer fluid up to the windshield. One stomp on the device would shoot an incredible amount of water on to your windshield.

Back in the day- which is a great way of saying 'back when I was young and fairly stupid'- I had an old Chevy Van that was redneck to the core. The exterior had some  plumbing companies name painted on it, so the owner prior to me had covered it up with Contact Paper (remember Contact Paper?) that had a pattern of small red periwinkles. Yeah; it was distinctive. The only thing inside when I bought it was the drivers seat. I bought some cheap carpet for the floor, and a friend of mine gave me his old living room couch, side chair and coffee table. I was all set.

What does this have to do with the Swan Car, or an old Duster?

Well; This:

I took one of the Windshield Washer pumps and one spray nozzle from an old Duster and rigged it up on the old van.

But not to spray the windshield. I had it rigged to spray out the grill, through a corner of the radiator. If I was sitting at a traffic light or stop sign, and somebody was taking too much time in the crosswalk, I would stomp on the Washer Bulb, and spray them with a half pint of water. They would think I had a radiator leak. And would need to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at the strange reactions from the sudden spray of water.

Like I say; that was back in the day.

Cars I Have Known VI

There is a line in the beginning of the movie A Christmas Story where the Narrator describes his Dad; "Some men are Baptists; other Episcopalian. My Father was an Oldsmobile man."

When I was a kid my Dad was an Oldsmobile man. The first car of his I remember was a 3-way black 55 Olds 88 4 Door sedan. In 1964 we drove that car to Disneyland, from Cincinnati. That trip is an upcoming series of posts.

It was shortly after that that Dad bought a different car. It is my earliest memory of a new car. In 1965 he bought a '60 Olds Wagon. White, with a grey top and grey interior. Man; what a machine!

The Speedometer. Anyone who has ever ridden in a '60 Olds remembers the speedometer. Instead of a dial an needle, it had a straight line graph and bar that ran across the bottom. From 0 to 50 it was a green bar; when you hit 50, the bar turned orange, and at 70 it turned red; fascinating to watch when you're 5. My Grandma- Dad's Mom- always in the  back seat, passenger side, and would start hollering Slow Down; Slow Down when she saw the bar turn red. On the highway the bar was usually red.

And there is nothing like a big Oldsmobile for a smooth ride. I remember going to visit my aunt and uncle, down a gravel lane, and not feeling a bump. On the highway, it was living room smooth, except for when I was bouncing around in the back seat.

But it wasn't all roses. The Olds 371 big block was known for cracking heads. and so did ours. Dad was able to squeeze another week out of it while he found a replacement motor, and Friday night on the way home form grocery shopping he stop by the Tool Rental and picked up an engine crane. As we pulled into the driveway the motor died completely. we had to push it the next morning the last 70 feet into the garage. Dad worked on it all day Saturday, and finished it up Sunday afternoon, and Monday morning drove it to work. Ah; the good old days!

We ran that car for years; from '65-'70. by then it was showing its age, and Dad found a good deal on 1966 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser wagon, and he sold the '60 to my uncle, who ran it another couple of years before the engine blew another head, and it went off to the rest home.

But I can tell you that car made an impression on me. I will always associate Big, Fast and Smooth with Oldsmobile, and in particular the 1960 Wagon.

The one in the picture was for sale not too long ago.

It sold for over $22,000. I guess I'm not the only one nostalgic for the old girl.

Again One Thing Leads to Another

Okay, so here's the story I am blogging about. I found it through a link at Instaundit; that lead me here, and then finally to this.

Which story am I blogging about?

Well, MINE of course!

I read Instapundit daily, at least. I consider it the Reader's Digest of the Internets. Not the modern, large format People Magazine wanna be, The Old Reader's Digest. The one that aggregated Stories of Lasting Interest.

Any rate, the tree ring story caught my eye on Instapundit. Interesting reading. But they never do explain how they figured out how old the trees were. I can understand how they fell into the lake, but how do they know which tree is is 20 years old, and which one is 2,000?

And I'd love to know how they can extrapolate the temperature OF THE ENTIRE GLOBE from a bunch of soggy trees in Finland!

That leads me to the second article.
A dungeon, secret passageways, peepholes and lingering ghosts: A young couple paid $395,000 in CASH and might have gotten more than they bargained for by buying castle in Missouri is the headline. But what is the news? They bought an old house, dressed up with a lot of stonework. Yehaw. Here is what I found interesting. They paid cash. $395,000 in cash. What makes that funny?

The buyer is a MORTGAGE BROKER. I didn't realize there were still mortgage brokers. I thought they had disappeared with the property flippers.

And then the last story. This guy spent 40 years looking for a stolen car; and found it. They don't go into details, but from the way the story reads it must have been Dad's car; Dad died and the kids were settling up the estate by selling the car.

Here's my question: How did Dad (assuming I am right) tag and insure a stolen car for over 40 years?

And also: if your car was stolen, how long would you keep the keys and old title?

In the interest of full disclosure, I still have the owner's manual and the key to a car I sold 30 years ago. So maybe I would still have the key and title to one that was stolen.

But; I also admit to being a little odd....

Back In The Day, I Could Afford a New Car

One of the things about a birthday is it kind of makes you nostalgic. I started thinking about some of the things I've had for years and some of the things I have lost over the years.

When I was 5 I got one of these from my aunt and Uncle for Christmas.

This thing was sweet: the wheels would turn and lock, so the car would make circles or go straight; it was motorized and would run at maybe 2 mph, and neatest of all, the headlights and taillights would light up through a fiber optic system from one bulb. And all this was in 1965!

When I was 11 we moved and I somehow lost track of where it went.

I'd almost give $100 for one.

But not quite; I ain't that nostalgic!

Cars I Have Known, Part V

I found this on The Truth About Cars a couple of days ago and was waiting for time to do a proper post on it.

I still don't have time. But I am going to do a post anyway, because the spirit has moved me.

And I'm supposed to be cleaning my desk. But, I digress.

The article is about the Oldsmobile Cutlass body style series that started in 1978. As a refresher, the 1977 Cutlass was a monster. Long and wide, usually powered by a 350 V-8 it was considered a midsized car. That could seat 6 fairly comfortably, if two were children, and handled like the Queen Mary.

The '78 on the other hand was about a foot shorter, 6 inches narrower and was powered by a 260 V-8. It didn't wallow into corners like the '77, and being smaller, was easier to maneuver in traffic and parking lots. It still seated 5, if one was a child, and became an instant hit.

For years this body series, which lasted, with one update, for 10 years, filled 4 -6 spots on the Top Ten Most Stolen list. a dubious distinction maybe, but also a hint of its popularity.

Spots that, coincidentally, have been taken by Honda Accords. According to the article, the Accord is the Modern Cutlass.

I have owned 4 of these Cutlasses. Two '78 two-doors, an '80 wagon and an '82 two-door. And I loved them all.

My first I called my American Bimmer. Bucket Seats, Factory Gauge Package, Glass Moon Roof, 260 V-8 and, the reason I bought the car, a Factory 5-speed. Mine was Midnight Blue, with a Baby Blue vinyl Landau Top. It had an interesting history. A couple bought it new in 1978 and shipped it to Denmark, where the husband was stationed for his job (details on the job are classified). In '82 or '83 they gave the car to their son, who lived in Cincinnati. In '86 he showed up with it in the garage I worked in because the headlights didn't work.

It was love at first sight for me. We agreed on a price and I took her home. We had two young'uns at the time, and putting car seats in and out of the back was a pain in the back, but everything else made it worthwhile.

That body style was big on the inside, small on the outside, and one of the last cars you could still work on. It averagaed probably 20 MPG (who measured gas mileage in 1986?) but still was able stay out of the way of traffic. and the rare 5-Speed gave it just a little bit of foreign feel.

The other Cutlasses have their own great stories that I'll tell later.

But back to the article; there is one point I have to argue with. The '78-'88 Cutlasses are comfortabel to me; the Accordss, not so much. Mom has one (2005 I think), and while adequet for short trips, after an hour I am ready to ride in the trunk just to see if I can find room to make my legs comortable.

To my 6'-4" 280 pound self, they just aren't comfortable. my legs rub somethng no matter where I put them, my butt gets tired after 30 minutes and I can't seem to shift my weight to somewhere that isn't already sore or tired. Give me an old Cutlass anyday.

Cars I Have Been Loosely Acquainted With II

After the experience with the Pierce Arrow Dad and I kept looking through the Trading Post. One Saturday we saw a 1949 Packard Series 22 Limousine. The price? ‘First $100 takes it’.

We drove out to Amelia to a small garage and a fenced lot out back. The Packard had been stored in the lot about 3 years previously by a ‘former’ friend of the garage owner and he wanted it gone. This picture looks pretty close to the way we saw it, but it doesn’t give you the size of this thing. Add about 2 feet to a Chevy Suburban and that is close.

The car itself was a good buy for $100. The bottom half of the engine was in the trunk and the driver’s side floor was gone from the center of the car to the door.

But the seats- including the two fold down jump seats- were perfect. All of the glass was there and rolled up and down as smooth as silk, including the window that divided the back seat from the front. The body wasn’t beat real bad, considering it was in a small yard and surrounded by other cars.

That was the problem. The guy who owned the lot didn’t own the car. A buddy had asked to part it there for a ‘week or two’ 3 years earlier and he hadn’t heard from the guy in almost 2 years. It was being sold without a title which added another level of problems putting it back on the road.

Dad and I talked it over for a few minutes and let the guy know we would call him later that afternoon. On the 45 minute ride home we listed the good points and the bad points on the beast. One topic that came up was how many of them were there?

This is pre-(common)internet. Luckily I had purchased a book that listed the production figures on most US cars from about 1900 to about 1975. As soon as I got home I looked it up.

In 1949 Packard made 7 of these limousines.

We called the guy about an hour after we had left his shop.

He had already sold the Packard.

We had come that close to owning one of only 7. And here are pictures of two of them.

Cars I Have Been Loosely Aquainted With

I ran across this at Jay Leno's Garage today, and it got me thinking about a couple of collector cars that might just have slipped through my fingers.

One summer my Dad decided he wanted to restore a car, so he and I started looking through the Trading Post (an old paper that advertised all sorts of things) for something interesting.

One we ran into was a 1933 Pierce Arrow sedan for $1000. This was back in probably 1990 or so, and fully restored this car was worth around $50,000. We called the owner and the story got even better. Her father-in-law had bought the car new and drove it from Chicago to Cincinnati in 1963 when he came to live with her and her husband. He parked the car in their driveway (in a rather upscale part of town) and never touched it again. Father-in-law died in 1970 and the car was still right where he left it. Her husband had recently taken ill, and she was basically selling off all his stuff.

Pierce Arrow was a well known car 70 years ago, and I think their last year of production was 1935 or so. They were a luxury car- you could buy maybe 10 Model-A Fords for the cost of one Pierce Arrow- and owning one in ’33 would be akin to having a top of the line Mercedes today.

We took a chance and went to see it. The car was complete down to the wing nut on the air cleaner. The tires even still had air in them. The roof was made of leather, over top of wooden bows, even though the sides were metal. Car manufacturers hadn’t yet figured out how to make a solid metal roof that didn’t ‘drum’, or flex, as the car ran down the road. And this is where the trouble started.

Cars of this vintage were almost a wood body wrapped in steel. Sometime in the 30 years between when the car was parked and when we went to look at it the roof had started to leak. And thirty years of water had ruined all of the wood. The wood that framed the roof, doors, body, floor and seats was gone. The paint was faded on most of the car to a mottled blue, and the chrome was dull and pitted.

One bright spot was the front end. A bush had grown up over the grill, headlights and fenders. These parts looked like brand new. If they had thrown a tarp over this thing in 1963 it would have been a $20,000 car.

As it was, it wasn’t worth the $1000 she was asking.

We thanked her for her time and kept looking.

And kept regretting our decision. That car would have been an immense amount of work, but would probably been worth it.

Cars I Have Known V

After I bought my T-Bird I got Orders to England. I had the choice to take the 'Bird with me, but because I couldn't drive it there I decided to leave the Thunderbird at home and buy another car in England. After about 2 months one of the guys I worked with offered me his Jaguar for $1000. He would make sure it would pass the MOT (Ministry of Transport) inspection for the $1000, so I jumped at the chance.

I will say flat out this was one Hell of a Car. All the Brits would tell you that only the Yanks would buy an old Jag, because the Brits that could afford the upkeep could afford a new one; it was only the Yanks that had enough money to keep an old one running; and by inference, the lack of smarts to try.

This was the first Sports Sedan; a 1965 3.8 S-Type. 4-wheel independent suspension (same as used on the E-Type); 4-wheel disc brakes; dual exhaust; dual overhead cams; twin carburetors on a 3.8 liter engine. Inside was pure class. The dash board and all of the trim that in a newer car is plastic, was solid walnut. The door panels and seats were leather, and the carpets wool. It was a little small, but not too bad even for me.

I was having trouble with it one day; it just would not idle properly. I was talking to the British guys I worked with about how bad it was running and one asked me if I had checked the oil in the carburetors. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. I told him that yeah I had; it was fine, and the stereo and the windows worked well too; and it still wouldn't idle.

Well, apparently I had just fallen off the turnip truck. Jags use an SU side-draft carb that has a throttle plate idle damper that uses motor oil to stabilize the throttle plate. You check it by removing a black cap on top of the bell of the carb that has a dipstick attached. If the oil runs low in the damper the throttle plate flops around instead of remaining steady, which makes the car idle poorly and run rough. We topped off the oil with about half a pint in each carb and she started idling smoothly again.

It's always the things we are sure we know that makes us look the dumbest, ain't it?

Cars I Have Known IV

My computer is down again- blown a second hard drive in a year- so I can't get a picture of either of my 'Birds; this is an old Ford image from 1969. This was the best image I could get from the Internet.

1969 Thunderbirds are rare. Ford built about 25,000 'Birds total in '69. That may sound like a lot of cars, but that same year they built 250,000 four door Galaxy 500s. T-birds are rare. And I have managed to get my hands on 4 of them.

My first was back in 1979, in North Dakota. The car was 10 years old and had almost any option you could want. Looking at Ford's option list for '69 I think I am missing the passenger side mirror, the sunroof, the fiber optic light minder and the rear window mounted brake lights. Yes, an option in 1969; mandatory 15 years later.

Ford only offered one motor in the 'Bird that year; a 429 cubic inch big block V-8 with a recorded 380 horsepower, but Ford has been found to be notorious for under-reporting engine horsepower and dyno tests have recorded over 410. 10.5 to 1 compression- where most modern cars run 8 to 1- and a 7.0 liter (for those who want to know) where today most cars are less than half that. This car used sheer size to compensate for lack of technology. In some respects a perfect metaphor for the United States in the 1960's.

These birds are, to me anyway, the epitome of what was once right with American Cars. Driving it is like sitting in your living room. everything adjusts to your perfect comfort. Road feel through the steering wheel? Hardly. This is your living room, remember? Cornering? Like the Queen Mary. Living room, remember?

But do you want to sit in total comfort for 4 or 5 hours while watching the countryside pass by at 65 MPH (or 90 or maybe more)? This is the car.

Who talked about fuel economy in 1969? Around town, count on about 8-10 MPG. Stop and go downtown? 4 to 5 if you don't run the air conditioning. This car was born for the highway. I once ran mine form Grand Forks ND to Omaha NE. 500 and some miles in one day. I made the whole trip at around 80 MPH and got 18.5 MPG. The next morning I started across Iowa and got busted for 80 in a 55. Iowa was a little more particular about their speed limits than ND, SD or NE I guess. Anyway, I ran all the way across Iowa at 55. And got 14 MPG. It's a Bird; it was made to fly.

On that same trip ( I was driving my 'Bird home before leaving for England) I hit I-275 from I-74 and was following it around into Kentucky. I was coming up the hill from the bridge and gave it a little gas to climb the hill. It was 4:00 in the morning and I had been awake sine 6:00 am and this was the first time I had been in the Bluegrass for a year. I got to the top of the hill and kept the pedal down.

I always had a problem with the dash lights in that car. There was a loose or bare wire somewhere and randomly the dash lights would blow a fuse. The fuse was small, and in the back of the fuse box, which was inside the glove compartment, so I didn't always replace it immediately when it blew. The dash lights fuse blew somewhere around Illinois 6 hours earlier and I hadn't replaced it yet. So I couldn't see my speedometer. Until I happened to glance down while going under a street light.

Bear in mind, I-275 was brand new; it was 4:00 in the morning and the road was empty. And I was 20. How fast was I going? Imagine a clock face. Zero would be about 6:30; 120 would be at about 5:30. The needle was back up to about 20MPH. I let go of the gas pedal immediately. I felt like i was doing maybe 100, but it was probably closer to 150. Living room, remember?

Why did it take me 6 hours to get from Illinois to Kentucky? The battery went dead on me in Indiana (The 'Bird's alternator had a funky built in voltage regulator that would occasional y take a couple of hours off. The ammeter didn't work, so you wouldn't know when the regulator had taken a vacation until the lights would suddenly dim) and I had to stop at a truck stop at 1:00 am to have the battery charged. That took an hour. Except the mechanic who charged the battery turned on the timer, but not the voltage. That battery didn't charge and I had to spend another hour waiting on the charger.

I still have that 'Bird. it is euphemistically 'Awaiting Restoration', meaning it's parked out back of the barn, waiting on me to get a couple of bucks together.

Which I will do.

As soon as I can quit raising kids.

Cars I Have Known III

This morning I have some time (FINALLY!!!) to blog a little. As soon as the rest of the house is awake I need to fire up the wood shop, but for now I have to operate something a little quieter than my table saw.

Way back in 1979 I got a call from a friend of mine. He had just bought a car and wanted me to give him a hand on a few repairs. It was a 1968 Ford Cortina, and it looked like a 3/4 scale model of a '68 Ford Falcon. This being North Dakota 30 years ago, parts were impossible to get. You couldn't even order them at the local parts house, and ALGORE hadn't invented the Internets yet, so this thing was a lot of fun to work on. Every other weekend.

I don't remember all of the things we did, but I do remember that the exhaust pipe rusted away from the header, and we had to basically create a new end for the pipe by laying a weld against the bracket that held the pipe to the header and then grinding it down so it would fit over the header mount.

We worked on this beast every payday weekend for 6 months, and when my Buddy asked me if I wanted to buy it - as he was getting a new car- and I figured I was getting a deal.

I was wrong. I just started spending every other weekend working on my car, instead of his.

When the brake master cylinder died, and I couldn't buy one for any amount of money, I drove the thing for 6 weeks by down shifting into first gear and pulling up on the emergency brake to stop.

What can I say? I was 19 years old for crap's sake!

I will say this; it was fun car to drive. It weighed a little less than a Pinto and had the same engine AND a 4 speed. It cornered like a slot car and because it was about half the size of a real car, I could slip it into parking spots that nobody else could use. And it got about 25-30 MPG, back when that didn't matter.

I finally had a friend offer me yet another car and I sold the Cortina to another airman on base who already had a '66 Cortina. (If you have ever watched Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets, the flying car is a '66 Cortina.) Strange thing was, this guy really didn't seem like a masochist.

But he had to be.

This Video Fulfills Two of My Passions

This video combines cars and history.

Made in 1943, it is a contemporary account of the start of the WWII Jeep.

If you have 10 minutes it's a fun little video, but you have to wonder how those soldiers stayed in during the hill hops. The original didn't have seat belts of course.

The jeep pictured is a modern restoration, but I had to include it. It is a USAAF Jeeep after all.

Just Like Bigfoot

I hope you'll pardon the poor quality of this photo, but, just like Bigfoot, other rare and strange creatures seldom can be caught posing for pictures.

This creature started life as either a Dodge Omni or a Plymouth Horizon, and at this point is somewhere between 20-30 years old; an exact age is not discernible at this distance and with this degree of disfigurement.

I saw this car on the road a few weeks ago, and like a classic UFO (Unidentified Filling Object) confrontation, by the time I was ready to snap photographic proof of its existence, it was gone. And, like those of us who have witnessed events for which there is doubt of their actual existence, I kept my mouth shut. Who would have believed me if I HAD described this car?

The headlights have been removed and replaced with bolt on units; the grill has been replaced with a 1930's style of round and upright one; the wheel wells have had fenders added to them; all of the windows have had external visors attached, and then there are the whitewall tires and baby moon hubcaps.

As luck would have it, on Thanksgiving my brother approached me, somewhat warily, as if he didn't want the word of his sighting to become general knowledge, as ask if I could I identify the car he was unable to.

No wonder he couldn't figure out what it was. New, this car would have looked more like this:



Not a beauty by any means, but acceptable in public, unlike its twisted sister.

Since I had already had a close encounter with the rare (thankfully; do you really want more than one of these creature roaming around?) critter, I was happy to oblige with an identification; if he would allow me publish the photograph here.

This cars existence proves one thing though.

It proves I can be wrong.

I always said you couldn't ugly up a Dodge Omni.

A Note From My Mother

A couple a days ago I blogged about fixing a car for my brother. It was an old Honda I had that I figure will get him around for a few months while he works out a permanent ride.

Anyway, yesterday we went to transfer it and for the first time in years I needed a note from my mother to get something done.

It turns out that in Kentucky a transfer between immediate family is free from sales tax- which is 6% of whatever the state says the car is worth. In this case the sales tax was $37, which means the state thinks a car that I gave away is worth over 600 bucks. One of us is full of the old crapola on the value of this thing, and I'm the one who drove it, so who do you think knows best? But, I digress.

Anyway, in order to prove my brother and I are brothers, we had to have a statement from Mom saying we are brothers, and then we can cheat the state out of... I mean not PAY the state thirty-seven bucks. Strange that they won't take our word for it, but will take Mom's.

Any rate, that's the story of why I needed a note from my Mother to sell a car.

Next thing ya know I'll post a video of paint drying.

My Sunday morning surfing led me to this on one of the sites I regularly visit, The Truth About Cars, an interesting site, if you like cars.

One of the things this article reminded me of was when I was in the Air Force. I am unsure how much of what I know is still classified (probably none of it; it was a LOONNGGG time ago), so I'll leave out some details, but basically I worked in an office that tracked U.S. Air Force vehicle traffic in a Minuteman Missile Field. We had specific routes the vehicles had to follow between the sites and the base and also had specific times that these routes took.

If you arrived at your destination too early, you were either speeding- and got written up- or you had taken an unauthorized route- and got written up.

Some folks knew the time frame for arriving at a site and would delay calling in to our office to announce their arrival on site until the specified time. But they would occasionally lose track of the time and call in late, or forget to call in at all, and we would need to track them down, to make sure the Russians (or the Canadians) hadn't hijacked them.

These folks thought they were scamming the system, but forgot that the time they checked in on the site with security would be logged. You may not have called us until the proper time for a 55 MPH trip, but Security knew you were there 25 minutes earlier than that. Can you say BUSTED?

Does anybody seriously think the government will turn their back on the few extra bucks a speeding ticket will bring in, if all it takes is the evidence from your own GPS?

Give it 5 years- or less if we can't get rid of the Democrats and RINOs- an your handy little On-Star won't just be sending the cops when you've hit a tree; it'll be sending them around when it discovers you're speeding on you way home from the bar.

Friday The 13th-3; Me-0

I spent quite a bit of time yesterday fixing a car for my brother.

It started off he needed a hood and hood latch from where my son wrecked the car about a year ago.

Then we got it started and found out it needed an alternator.

Friday the 13th- 1; Me-0.

We got a good price on a used alternator, but Japanese Cars are not designed to be worked on by Large American Hands.

Seriously; my hands are probably 8 inches long and almost 2 inches thick. The average Japanese Hand probably looks like a scale model of mine.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. But '57 Chevy is built so my hand can work on it; a '91 Accord is not. And yesterday I was working on a '91 Accord.

I used to work with an old mechanic who started working on cars when Model-T Fords were still on the road, and he had one iron clad rule. He never worked on anything he couldn't cuss at in it's native tongue. He knew some German cuss words, so he would work on a Volkswagen, but that was about it.

My Japanese consists of basically two words; Sushi and Sayonara; neither of which sounds remotely threatening. Yesterday it was getting so mad I couldn't even understand what I was muttering myself, so I guess it didn't matter.

It must have taken us 3 hours to change this alternator. Hell, it took an hour to install one bolt. The second time.

And that is a second issue with Japanese cars; they are engineered differently. Not bad engineering. Just different. I know my American Cars (by American Cars I mean Front engine, rear-wheel drive 6 passenger sedans. That Front wheel drive stuff is Japanese), and I can change a transmission in less time than it took me to change the alternator on that Honda. And I am beginning to learn German engineering- they like to hide a bolt or two.

But Japanese? If I think it should be left; its actually right. If most are up, these are down; if I need 6 inches, I get 3. Like I say, it's not bad engineering, just different. Hell; they got a reputation for reliability from somewhere; maybe its because only a pro can work on them?

Anyway, we get the alternator back on, and then the hood. we get everything adjusted and go for a test drive. Before we leave the driveway my brother rolls up the driver's window.

And it shatters. Friday The 13th- 2; Me-0.

Luckily we have a spare window on the property (What? You don't have a spare driver's front window for a '91 Honda Accord in your basement? Maybe that's why I'm a Redneck), and we test drive the car while my son vacuums up the glass from the driveway. We come back and get the other window installed and my brother is ready to go.

Except now the door won't shut and latch.

Friday The 13th-3; Me-0.

We take the door back apart and cannot find anyting wrong; except that the door won't latch. Put it back together, and it now works.

As I said then; something must have been bumfuzzled, and we un-bumfuzzled it.

But he has been driving it ever since, and appaerntly is happy. So I guess in the end it was Me-1; Friday The 13th-0.